Who am I, really?

I once asked my pastor why it was so difficult for me to pray openly with my wife. He surprised me with his answer, he said " Because she knows you and knows the truth." What is that supposed to mean I thought. But then it really did strike me, there is only one person who knows me better than my wife, that is Jesus Himself.

She knows when my intentions are ill willed or accidental. She would know if I slid into third and jabbed the third baseman with my cleats whether it was on purpose or an accident. So even the things I might be trying to slip by in prayers, she would know...

We tend to put on airs and try to make people think of us what we want them to think which is often not the reality. You know what I'm talking about, how we suck our guts in while others pass by. Or how we strut to give away that we are too cool. So who am I really when the gut is not sucked in and I am in my comfortable world, who am I?

I am a person who tries to make things better than the way I found them. I have a hard time saying no when others come to me for help. That's why I was so actively invested in my last church. People would come to me and say how they really needed for em to help with, and I was no problem. Friends would warn me that saying yes to everything, others will take advantage and so we have to learn how to say no for the right reasons and at the right time.

I'm a husband, a father, a brother, a son, and not very good at any of that. I tend to leave relationships in my wake when I move on. I am not good at keeping in touch and it is to my own detriment. I envy those that I see whom can embrace long term relationships from their pasts. As much as I envy them however it is not enough for me to make the necessary changes.

I think that is what draws me to men's ministry so much. I feel the pains of limited really deep strong relationships in my own life and so I try to help lead others in a different direction. Like most men I tend to relate to what I do and not why I do it. I like being known however I do not want to sing or dance t become famous. Does that make sense? I play the base and drums so I can be near the back and go often unnoticed, yet I love to be on the stag and making music with my friends.

I may not be the best coach in the world but I do my very best, work hard at it, take it more serious than I would even want the athletes to do and I love it when someone takes notice of my efforts and the positive impact it has on others. Last year one of my players shared with me that another player of mine had gone into coaching and they were crediting me with that. (or were they blaming me?) Just kidding, it is a blessing and I was thrilled to hear the good news.

This is the same way it is in my work. I often over analyze and take to long to pull the trigger on new ideas, but my intentions are always of the highest standards. I truly care about the people that honor me with the choice they make to trust in me to serve them. When cost over runs or mistakes happen I genuinely lose sleep over it. Building a home is a big deal and there are lots of moving parts. Trying to get the hopes and dreams out of a clients mind and into a real world finished dream home has many pitfalls and no project goes without some of them.

Its about trying to find the best solutions to the challenges that makes me who I am. Whether its an issue at home or on the job or in the church, I thrive off finding the best workable solutions and helping others find the way a little smoother. So no I'm not perfect and hope I never come off that way to others. But I will do my best in all things.

No way to have a real and honest introduction to who am I really in a single dose. Call me or come by and we can share more. I would like to know who you are really and am willing to be open and vulnerable to do that. The web site is full of ways for you to contact me, so what are you waiting for? The invitation is sent, you chose the format. If you are not part of a small group of any kind, join with me and we will stat one. Small groups are doing life together. Notice I didn't say men or women, young or old, race color or creed. All are welcome its a brand new day.....

I hope you enjoyed

the read, feel free to register and join in, all are welcome on all platforms. I would love to hear, to long to short, not enough content etc... Please leave feedback.